Hernando Connects “Deep Thoughts” Friday:
- Why arent iPhone Chargers called Apple Juicers?
- Onion Rings are Vegetable Donuts.
- Your Stomach thinks that all potatoes are mashed.
- Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a Doctors Appointment.
- What if Oxygen makes our voices deeper, and helium brings it back to normal?
6. Its Weird that we cook Bacon and Bake Cookies.
7. The oldest person in the world was born with a completely different set of humans.
8. Sometimes its hard to tell if something is actually a memory, or if you just dreamed it. So I asked my boss if I called him a lying, stinking, theief, or if I just dreamed it. He said I just dreamed it. Whew, that was close!
9. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away and have their shoes.
10. If I was being executed by injection, I’d clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I’d say, ‘Injection?, I thought you said Injection!’ They’d probably feel real bad, and may be I could get out of it.
11. I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes,”Man, you’re such a Cheetah!” and they laugh and eat a Zebra or something.
12. No one has ever been in an empty room.
13. There’s a strange new trend at the office. People are putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Kevin.
14. Laughter is the best Medicine….. except for treating Diarrhea.
15. When you clean out a Vacuum Cleaner, you become a Vacuum Cleaner.
16. What compelled Man to look at a cow and say, “I want to drink whatever is in that dangly thing”?
17. If your shirt is not tucked into your pants, then are your pants tucked into your shirt?
18. I wish I could sleep but my stupid ADHD kicks in and well basically, one sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Old MacDonald had a farm, HEEEEY Macarena!
19. The only time the word “Incorrectly” isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.
20. I’m glad life isn’t like a Christmas song, because if my friends and I were building a snowman and it suddenly came alive when we put a hat on it, I’d probably freak and stab it to death with an icicle.